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Posted on 2010.02.19 at 09:28
Did I mention that I live in Portland now? for a little while at least. Then stay or go. Not sure. Depends on grad school.

LIES! I live in motherfuckin dundee oregon. blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. If I had a job I would live in Portland.

Posted on 2010.02.18 at 23:06
whats a good blog name for someone trying to figure out how to do community sex education on my own and running into hilarious and potentially incredibly awkward interactions?

i want something funny. or at least not totally pretentious.

Posted on 2009.11.19 at 10:33
Life would be easier if we could either figure out a good way to actually work out anger, or if we could punch people in the face with no consequence.

Posted on 2009.11.17 at 17:18
oh man, I love when I am drunk and write livejournal posts, dont post them, and then find them later as a restored draft. The one that just came up was how people shouldnt get offended if I tell them they have praying mantis hands and that someone elses girlfriend fucking sucks. Both of these facts are true, even when not drinking.

Anyway. I need to get off my ass and call someone that gave me their number. But I am nervous. And I really think I would be more apt to call if she was the same height as me. For some reason girls that are way taller than me seem cosmically doomed date-wise with me.

Anyway. Um. Still unemployed. Might have a place to live soon. Otherwise bored with life.

And....new band: Lightning Love. Get hip bitches!

The song that is kind of my summer:

Well my friends,we go out,and we drink,and we're loud,
and we'll tare up the town,
to the point where you can't build it back,
the point where i can't take things back.

And they'll say I'm the worst 'cuz I'll spit or I'll curse and I'll fight and the next day i wont remember what i did, i don't remember what i did.

If you know where my friends are hangin out
if you know why they havent been around
if you see them please tell them to come talk to me.

Well they all had a laugh,when i climbed up the shaft,and i pissed in the elevator in that old parking garage,but i really wish they hadn't watched.

And they thought it was cute,'til i kicked off my shoes,and i started to puke,and my friends well they all walked away, i thought real friends would have stayed.

If you know where my friends are hangin' out,if you know why they haven't been around,if you see them please tell them to come talk to me.

It would just take a phone call to talk to me.

All it takes is a phone call,all it takes is a phone call all it takes is a phone call, and ill say that I'm so-o sorry , ill say I'm so-o sorry (x2)

If you know where my friend are hangin out,if you know why they haven't been around,if you know where my friends are hangin' out, if you know why they haven't been around

If you know where my friends are hangin' out,if you know why they haven't been around,if you see them please tell them to come talk to me-e-e-e to me-e-e-e

Posted on 2009.09.18 at 15:12
I need a cuddle partner that doesnt talk so much! I mean, I love talking, but I can't keep up. and talking and cuddling is not the same as just cuddling.

Also, my face is about to fall off from allergies.

Going to the Ohio Lesbian Fest tomorrow. I am imagining a buzz-cut laden partners paradise with wives spread out over a field in matching folding chairs. but there are a few good performers so maybe I will be surprised. Regardless, getting in some Anne time will be amazing.

OK, time to get a job....or a house...but really I am going to watch some mtv music awards videos.

I love beyonce.

Posted on 2009.09.15 at 17:32
ok, have some time to kill. might as well do a journal update. What is new with me...

currently living in my friend anne's dining room. I like to think of it as being her housewife. i even went shopping, cleaned, and made dinner today. I actually like staying here when I can get some sleep (futon is a little hard). The last two weeks have been all over the place. Went to Athens for a while to see some friends, which was mellow and great. came back to a friends getting ready to move to new york so I jumped in a car with her and was in brooklyn/manhattan for a while. Was totally amazing fun, but I really shouldn't have gone, I spent way too much money that I dont have. Still think it was worth it though, I think it got me out of my funk a little. Got me used to spending a lot of time alone and enjoying it, which is good because I spend tons of time alone. I think that I am getting a room with my friend nathan who just kicked out his terrible roommate. Almost moved into an incredibly overpriced studio, but i am glad i didnt. even though it means rocking the dining room futon.

Still figuring out the job situation. Might come back to portland for a temp job in october that would pay pretty well. Hopefully I will have a job by then though. Not having a car is making it hard. Tomorrow is send out tons of resumes day. And pack up some of the bedroom. i know that i shouldnt just leave my stuff in the house, but i did pay rent this month and its really hard for me to be going back and packing things all the time when i dont have anywhere to put them. Maybe I will start moving stuff into Anne's basement. ah thinking out loud on livejournal...

Otherwise though things are kind of fun. I have a good grasp on who my friends are here. And I went on a hilariously random date with a random girl I met at queer bar. Which was cute, and left at that date for the moment. Otherwise...I dont really know what to update about...overall life feels pretty good right now. i feel very in touch with myself and what i want and how to go about a lot of that stuff. It goes in and out somewhat frequently, but overall pretty good stuff I think.

Posted on 2009.08.27 at 17:02
i live a ridiculous life. in fact, i am pretty sure i live in a fantasy world. I mean overall things are working out, but at some point I really need to take some action on the whole jobless and homeless thing, right? so what do i do? I decided that maybe I should just buy a bunch of $1 bus tickets and bum around the east coast.

I mean really it doesnt seem like the worst idea ever. visit friends. plus no one is homeless on the road! the homeless thing is really driving me crazy. i totally randomly met up with a friend last night and then just asked him to stay at his house. it wasnt totally weird or anything, just not really what getting a beer usually comes with. i think i am annoyed about it because its fucking hot and humid here and its makeing me in a bad mood. I am always sweaty. gross.

but my life also involves things like a planning meeting for queer bar followed by some invite only dance party downtown. and walking across town for the hell of it. its nice that so many of my friends are unemployed right now, helps the moral in a weird way.

ok, back to opperation stay busy.

Posted on 2009.08.24 at 12:32
I think all I did was change the nature of the problem.

Reconstruction plan:
1. find a place to live.
difficulties: have no job, very little money.
2. find a job.
difficulties: economy. also i live in cincinnnati.
3. dont freak out
difficulties: mom thinks her cancer is back. i'm homeless and depending om people too much to feel good about myself.
4. hang out with more people, more variety
difficulties: I dont like people knowing my business if I feel like I don't have control over the situation.
5. dont sleep all day/dont run of 4 hours sleep for 4 days straight (depends on the day)
difficulties: why not?
6. be realistic about what i can expect from people

Posted on 2009.08.06 at 21:35
Ok kind of creeped out and in way way over my head. I don't think things are going to make sense.

july is for thunderstorms.

Posted on 2009.08.04 at 11:24
So last night I had one of my "I wish I could live in this moment for the rest of my life and never come out" pieces of summer. I have been having them sort of constantly. I dont know if its that I am unhappy with what will come next, or if the moment is so insanely perfect, or the combo. Last night's was our achieving the tenth skinny dipping expedition. Anne, Steph and I were in the middle of a river I dont know the name of floating around and wearing ourselves out in the current in the perfect temperature with a huge bright moon above us, making a silver trail across the water to where we were. Perfect.

I feel like I have had one of the most intense months of my life. I think part of it has been turning 25 and being so so reflective on my life up until now. I think 25 really freaks me out. I think that I really feel my age and really feel like its time to stop waiting for things to work out and plans to be made. I feel like I have been leaning on every friend I have and everyone has been amazing. But I still dont know what to do and where to go. I have been slowly figuring out the lines that are drawn around me. I dont feel like I have no choices and I dont feel like I have an over-abundance of them. I think that I am just at a point where I have to choose, through action or lack of action where I am going with my life. And I feel like I already regret any decision I make.

Hot Mess. In Cincinnati Ohio.

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